In a relationship, it’s important to talk about what’s okay and not okay with you.
If your partner called the cops on you, it is important to know why they did so.
If there was no reason for them to call the police or if their reasons are unacceptable then this may be an abusive relationship.
In this post, we’ll talk about why your partner might have called the police and what you should do if this happens to you.
So, what should you do if your partner called the police on you? If your partner knows that you are not a danger to them, then there should be no reason for the police to be involved. Sit down with them to find out what the problem was and discuss your boundaries, what is okay and what isn’t.
7 Reasons Why Your Partner Called the Police On You
Below are some of the most common reasons that partners will call the police on their significant other.
You’re Uncontrollable When You Get Mad!
If they called the police because you get angry when you drink or because you have a high temper or speak to them harshly, they are most likely trying to protect themselves from your rage.
This is especially true if they’ve experienced you physically hurting them. At this point, they may not trust you and they want and need to protect themselves and their children.
They’ll probably continue to call the police on you if you show a lack of self-control and a lack of regard for the law. And if you try to convince them that you’ll behave, you’ll probably lose a lot of credibilities.
This is especially true if you yell, physically attack them, threaten them, or physically attack others (your kids, your neighbors, etc).
Blaming your partner for getting you angry with their words or actions can be verbal abuse. If you are getting yourself into this kind of situation, you probably have anger management issues.
The only way to address this is to first work on how you manage your anger. Refrain from drinking or doing drugs when you are upset, and take steps to learn how to handle yourself when you’re stressed.
You’re Abusive
There are also many people who believe that it’s their partner’s responsibility to stop the abuse. For some, this begins with taking a stand and telling their partner plainly what they will not tolerate from them.
If this doesn’t change the behavior of the partner, then there is a need to get legal help or call the police on them.
If you’re abusive in any way, you should break up with your partner and be willing to leave them if they won’t do anything about what you’re doing to them.
Letting the abuse continue is not an option no matter how much you might love your partner.
It is important for both parties in a relationship to understand what’s okay and what’s not okay when it comes to tolerating abuse.
You’re Violent
If she called the cops on you because of your violence or physical abuse, this is an abusive relationship and you should stop and break up with her.
If you show any signs of aggression and violence, whether it’s physical or verbal, then chances are that she’ll keep calling the police on you.
It may not be a good idea to try and convince her that things will change because they won’t if you can’t control your temper or rage when it happens.
The only way to fix this is to work on how you react when you’re angry.
Try not to drink alcohol when you’re upset, work out how to handle stressful situations without lashing out at others (yelling, breaking things, etc), and try to be understanding of your partner’s emotions.
Your Partner Fears for Their Safety
If your partner is calling the cops on you because they fear for their safety, this is also an abusive relationship. This could be because of physical abuse, emotional abuse, or simply because you’re not good-tempered.
If they are afraid of what might happen when they’re trying to break up with you or leave you, then there’s something that needs to be done about that now. Otherwise, things will just continue if they don’t know how to handle an angry loved one.
You should leave your partner if they are afraid to leave you because of what might happen. You should also stop abusing them so that this fear dissipates, and be willing to work on yourself when it does come up in future relationships (or with the next person).
You Did Nothing Wrong But Your Partner Uses the Police Against You
If you suspect that your partner is using the police against you because they want to use it as a form of control or punishment, then there are many steps that you can take to protect yourself. If you’re not sure, then talk to an abuse counselor about what is happening in your relationship.
First, try to work on your own behavior too. If she’s calling the cops on you because she feels threatened by certain behaviors, then it’s important for you to either stop doing them or change them so they don’t scare her.
Trying to convince your partner that things will be different in the future when you still have this problem may not work out so well. It may also just make her believe that she has more power over you than she really does.
If your partner is trying to call the cops on you for any reason, then it’s an abusive relationship and should be stopped before things escalate into a police problem that can’t easily go away.
It’s an Emotional Distraction
The act of calling the police on someone is often an emotional distraction. Callers may call the cops in order to get back at their partner for an argument they had, to make the other person feel guilty, or to give themselves what they think is protection.
For example, a caller may call the cops on their significant other because they cheated, were unfaithful, or didn’t do something that they wanted them to do. The phone call is an attempt at emotional manipulation and/or trying to get revenge for being upset with your partner.
In this case, you should try not to respond emotionally as well. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you or make you react in ways that will only lead to more conflict.
Your Relationship is Unhealthy and Your Partner Wants to Break Up
If they are afraid of what might happen when they’re trying to break up with you or leave you, then there’s something that needs to be done about that now. Otherwise, things will just continue if they don’t know how to handle an angry loved one.
What To Do if the Police Told You Not to Contact Them
The police can advise you not to contact them, but it doesn’t mean that they’re backing down. They’ll be keeping their eye on you and may try to contact you by other means.
I would recommend taking some time to keep your head straight before jumping into any new relationships or meeting with anyone who wants your attention. You deserve some stability in your life without being pulled in so many directions at once.
This way, you can ensure that your relationships are healthy for you and make sure to consider the fact that it’s not okay to use the police as a scare tactic in any relationship.
You don’t want to just jump into a new relationship when you feel like the other person might call the cops on you, no matter how much time has passed since your last relationship.
If your partner called the police because they wanted to scare or punish you into doing what they want, then it’s an abusive relationship and should be stopped before things escalate into a police problem that can’t easily go away.
It’s important to have time for yourself when you start a new relationship so that you can be sure of what is going on and whether or not it’ll work out in the future.
How to Forgive Someone Who Called the Cops on You
This is a tough one, and it depends on what the reasons were for them calling the cops on you.
1. Realize It Was In A Moment of Frustration
If they called the cops on you because they were upset with something that happened, then it’s understandable. They may not have known what else to do at that moment and how much damage was done after calling the police or who even knows why they felt like there was no other option at all?
Try thinking about whether this was an isolated incident or if it was a regular thing. If they don’t do this very often, then maybe there’s hope for them to change their behavior and learn from what happened so that things can be better in the future.
If this was a rare thing to happen, then maybe it’s an isolated incident where your partner just didn’t know what else to do at that moment because they were frustrated or upset about something – not necessarily at YOU specifically.
My advice would be to give them a second chance and see what happens. If they continue the behavior, then consider cutting contact with this person until you figure out if it’s an isolated incident or not.
2. Realize They Were At Their Worst and Act Out of Fear
If they did this because they were afraid, then there’s a chance for them to change their behavior. It might be hard at first because you’ll need time apart from each other while figuring out what happened and establishing boundaries in your relationship (or lack thereof).
However, if they know that they can’t call the police on you or use them as a weapon to get what they want, then it could be very eye-opening and help them learn from their mistakes.
Take some time apart so you both have space to think about why this happened and how things need to change if your relationship is going to work out in the future.
If they know that what happened was wrong and it won’t happen again, then maybe you can attempt to get back together with this person after some time apart so you guys can both figure out where things went wrong and how to make them right in the future.
Otherwise, if they continue calling the cops or using fear tactics on you, then you may need to cut contact with them and move on.
3. Forgiving Is Not Forgetting
It’s important to establish boundaries in your relationships and make sure that you love yourself enough before getting back together with someone who called the cops on you.
You need time apart from them so things can calm down, but just because they’re not calling the police anymore doesn’t mean that everything is okay – it could be a sign of something more sinister.
It’s important to take time apart from this person so that you can forgive them, but not forget about what happened and why it was wrong for them to do. This means going on a few dates with other people or just being single until things have calmed down enough that you’re ready to commit again to a serious relationship.
If you were hurt in the past by this person, then it’s okay to feel resentful towards them right now – but don’t let that resentment eat away at your happiness and make sure you still have time for yourself while working things out with your partner.
It’ll take some time before everything is back to normal between you two, but if this person is willing to change their behavior and not call the police on you again – then you can consider giving them another chance.
What to Do if Your Girlfriend Lied and Said You Hit Her
This is a serious situation – so, let’s talk about what you should do.
1. Be Calm and Do Not Argue with Her
If she’s saying that you hit her and it wasn’t just a one-time thing, then this is something to take seriously. It might even be best for both of you if you leave the house until things calm down so they don’t get worse.
It doesn’t matter why your girlfriend told someone else that you hit her – what matters is that she told them. If it was a one-time thing and something got out of hand, then maybe there’s still hope for the relationship to continue if both of you are willing to work through this together in therapy or counseling.
If your girlfriend is saying that you’ve been abusive in the past too (as in, a pattern of behavior) and you haven’t been open about it before – then there’s something going on that neither of you has addressed.
It doesn’t matter why your girlfriend is saying these things right now or whether or not she thinks they’re true – what matters is that this isn’t the first time she brought up abuse in the relationship and that you were never open about it before.
If your girlfriend lied to the police or tried using them as a weapon, then this is something she needs help with – not just from you but from friends and family too now that they’re involved in her life again.
You might want to stay at a friend’s house until things calm down and you can both figure out what is true and what isn’t.
2. Decide if This Is What You Want for Your Life
It might be time to leave your girlfriend – especially if she’s saying that you hit her (or threatened her) in the past. It doesn’t matter why this happened or how it got out of control because what matters is that things are beyond repair now and no one will ever trust each other again.
If your girlfriend is saying that you hit her in the past – then this relationship is over and it doesn’t matter how many times she apologizes to you or says sorry because none of it will be enough for either one of you anymore. You can go on a few dates with other people if things are still fresh, but otherwise – this is the end of your relationship.
3. Figure Out What You Want to Do Next
It might be better for both of you if your girlfriend stays at a friend’s house while everything is sorted out because things could get worse if you argue right now.
It doesn’t matter why your girlfriend told someone else that you hit her – what matters is that she did it in the first place and this isn’t something either of you can just sweep under a rug again.
You might want to stay at a friend’s house until things calm down – because you can’t trust your girlfriend right now and she might do something else to get herself into more trouble.
You don’t have to let this turn into a permanent thing either, but it’s probably best if you stay at a friend’s house until things calm down for both of you before moving back in together again because no one trusts each other anymore.
Final Thoughts
I hope that these tips are helpful for anyone who has been through something similar to what I experienced with my ex-boyfriend!
If your partner called the cops or used fear tactics against you, then it might be best to give them some space so that you can process everything that happened between the two of you.
If they truly are sorry for what they did, then maybe things will change for the better in your relationship – but if not, then let go and move on because this probably isn’t a one-time thing!
Good luck out there!
